Whole Girl Read online

  Contents

  INTRODUCTION

  ABOUT THE RECIPES

  CHAPTER ONE: BE LOVING

  CHAPTER TWO: BE BOSSY

  CHAPTER THREE: BE LIGHT

  CHAPTER FOUR: BE DEEP

  CHAPTER FIVE: BE UNSURE

  CHAPTER SIX: BE COZY

  CHAPTER SEVEN: BE WILD

  CHAPTER EIGHT: BE BRAVE

  CHAPTER NINE: BE AFRAID

  CHAPTER TEN: BE JOYFUL

  CHAPTER ELEVEN: BE CLEAR

  CHAPTER TWELVE: BE BLUE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN: BE MAD

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN: BE YOUNG

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN: BE GRATEFUL

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  NOTES

  RESOURCES

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Introduction

  We Are All Whole

  Young women are powerful.

  Our brains are bursting with creativity, intellect, and new ideas. We are eager to try new things. We care passionately about issues, from global to personal. We are all different; each of us has completely unique abilities and personalities. We are full of possibility.

  All of this terrifies our society. They can’t handle us, in all our messy, diverse awesomeness. So they try to break us into pieces and put us in boxes. The messages are relentless: You’re not enough. You’re too much. Be quiet. Don’t make waves. Smile. Don’t eat too much. Don’t be so emotional.

  At the same time, manufacturers, media companies, and other corporations profit off our insecurities. They make us feel bad about ourselves to get our money. You’d be happier if you bought that. You need more followers. Buy these clothes; don’t wear those. They sell us new phones, diet products, skin-care serums, and everything else under the sun, with a side of shame.

  These messages hound us so often that we start to buy into them. We actually believe we’re incomplete!

  But we don’t need to accept this madness. We know that we’re already whole.

  In this book, we are going to embrace our whole selves—every part of us—just as we are. All the messy details. All the power and potential. We can reject society’s arbitrary rules by treating ourselves with respect, enjoying food, and relishing this incredible time in life.

  What Brought Me Here

  The path that led me to write this book started when I was nine years old. Seemingly out of nowhere, I had developed nausea, stomachaches, and fatigue that just wouldn’t go away. These symptoms kept me home and out of school for half a year (not the idyllic endless vacation it sounds like!). The worst part was that nobody could figure out what was wrong with me, including the many doctors I saw.

  When my mom asked the doctors if food played a role in my issues, or if gluten could be the problem, every one of them said no. I went completely off gluten anyway, as a last resort.

  Within two months, all my symptoms were gone.

  I went back to school and normal (gluten-free) life. Now that I had witnessed the power of food, I started experimenting with different ways of eating. I found that I felt even better when I ate unprocessed foods and consumed less grains and sugar. I started eating more vegetables, fruits, nuts, meat, and eggs. Now I had more energy than ever before. I felt fantastic.

  However, one thing was still missing from my life: desserts. Back then, decent gluten-free treats weren’t available in stores. But, like they say, necessity is the mother of invention. And I needed treats. So I started inventing my own!

  Every day after school, I would rush to the kitchen to concoct new cakes, muffins, and cookies. Baking grain-free desserts became my obsession. I wanted to share that joy with others. So, when I was twelve, I started posting my recipes on a blog I called Whole Girl. As I posted more recipes, the blog developed a following. Soon I was getting messages from people all over the world saying that my recipes had helped them. People were writing to ask me questions and share their stories. I was amazed and inspired.

  On the Move

  I’ve never been super sporty. In fact, I’ve never done competitive sports. Ever. But after gaining tons of energy, I wanted to move!

  I began exploring different kinds of movement. I decided to try a beginner’s yoga class at my local studio. I was amazed by how strong yoga made me feel—something I’d never really felt before. The yoga class also had a long period of meditation at the end, which made me feel calm and centered. I began going to yoga regularly and practicing yoga and meditation at home. Now every time I step onto the mat and move through yoga—or just sit still and breathe—I get in touch with my body and grow closer to myself.

  Running always perplexed me. I wondered, why do people ever run by choice? But after doing the dreaded Mile Run in middle-school gym class (and finishing in second-to-last place), I decided I wanted to improve. So I started running half a mile on the hiking trails near my home. Then one mile. I remember crying with frustration when I found out that it had taken me fifteen minutes to run that mile. But I kept going. I eventually worked my way up to five or six miles at a time—that is, between my many ankle sprains and knee injuries.

  I tend to get hurt a lot. Every time I broke my foot (once, walking up stairs) or twisted my ankle, I had stop exercising in order to heal. Once I was rehabilitated, I had to start the process all over again—back to the most basic yoga poses; back to running one mile, then two. It was frustrating. I got mad at myself for being slow and weak.

  But as time went by, I saw how absurd it was to be so hard on myself. I love moving my body because it clears my mind and makes me feel alive. I decided to only focus on that. I vowed not to care about how hard I exercised, or for how long or how fast. I would come from a place of patience and compassion for myself.

  This new practice changed the entire way I thought about myself. I beat myself up less. I appreciated myself more.

  I wanted to share this approach to exercise with other girls. So I started writing about it on my blog, along with the recipes. I talked about exercising with the motivation of being kind to myself, about learning to quiet the shaming perfectionist in me—even when I wasn’t fast or strong. Apparently a lot of people struggle with the same feelings, because women and girls around the world responded, saying that my stories helped them feel less alone.

  Growing Up

  Meanwhile, I entered teendom. At first it was hard for me to take care of myself amid all the new stress of school and homework. So I began experimenting. I played around with different ways to help my body and mind feel good, such as preparing school lunches for the coming week and finding different ways to get more sleep. I spoke about these tools, and many more, on my website, on social media, in articles for magazines, and on my podcast.

  I read messages daily from young women about their experiences with food, exercising, and taking care of themselves. I also share my own experiences and have conversations with people. It’s been eye-opening to learn about other people’s perspectives and to create real connections with young women around the world.

  Here’s the Plan

  You know those emotions that society wants us to squelch? They’re actually our super-powers. They give us focus, energy, compassion, strength.

  In this book, we’re going to rediscover our turbo-charged emotions and use them as rocket fuel to power all different parts of our lives.

  Each chapter will connect us with a different mood and help us flex it in three ways:

  LIVING LARGE

  For each mood, we’ll delve into issues young women face today, such as trying to fit in, stressing about food, not getting enough sleep, spending endless time in the abyss of our phones, and a lot more. We’ll explore ways to take on these problems, using the mood from each chapter. I’ll share experiences and insights that have helped in my life. We’ll also hear advic
e from some really inspiring women I’ve talked with.

  Each chapter will also have a Q&A. Some of the questions come directly from readers over the years. Others are composites or hypotheticals.

  MINDFUL MOVEMENT

  Women have been taught by our culture (and especially through advertising) that the sole purpose of exercise is to change our bodies. So working out often feels like punishment.

  We’re going to turn that around and approach exercise with the goal of honoring our bodies.

  Each chapter has a mindful movement to help us tune in to each mood. If we’re in a joyful state, we’ll run intervals. If we’re feeling cozy, we’ll do gentle stretches. If we’re mad, we’ll use our voice with Lion’s Breath.

  FEED YOURSELF

  For far too long, our culture has sent us messages that we should be ashamed of eating. Eating—something we must do to survive, and which is also the most awesome way to connect with friends and family.

  We need to turn this insanity around. By fully appreciating and loving food, we can ease some of the stress and confusion surrounding it.

  I believe making and eating desserts are two of the greatest joys in life. Each chapter has three recipes for incredible treats that are centered around that chapter’s mood. Every recipe is gluten-free, dairy-free, and Paleo. (Many are also vegan, nut-free, and sugar-free.) Because the treats are Paleo, they have no grains or dairy, and very little sugar. They leave us feeling satisfied and energetic. No sugar crashes. And I’m not joking when I say they are yummier than conventional treats!

  A Note on Gender

  The title of this book and many of its ideas refer to traditional gender roles of male/female, men/women, boys/girls. Of course, humankind includes a broad spectrum of gender identities, and the issues I address in this book may apply to all different people, not just those who identify as “girls.” I hope everyone feels welcome and can benefit from these chapters.

  I’m thrilled to share my experiences, stories, and insights—not to mention some insane treats! Thank you for being here.

  About the Recipes

  Why Paleo Treats?

  I am a firm believer in dessert. Dessert is delicious, but it’s also special. When we share dessert with people we love, we bond and create memories. I don’t recall much from when I was five, but I vividly remember the pink-and-purple castle cake my mom and I made for my birthday!

  Treats have brought so much joy into my life. I want to share that joy with you. So this book is filled with forty-five treat recipes—from muffins, to cakes, to cookies, to the ultimate fudgy brownies.

  Sadly, treats don’t always agree with our bodies. Most are loaded with sugar, which can cause a host of serious health problems. It can also make us feel lousy. It gets us wired, then we crash. And sugar is extremely addictive. Consuming it only makes us want more and more. We can never get enough.

  Most baked goods are also made with wheat—and its gluten—which causes health problems for lots of people. Gluten can mess with all different parts of the body, from the gut to the brain. Many of us are just recently learning about this connection.

  With Paleo treats, we avoid these problems! Paleo means that all these recipes are free of grains (including gluten), dairy, legumes, and refined sweeteners. They’re also low in sugar and high in protein and fat.

  Speaking of fat, something needs to be said once and for all: fat doesn’t make us fat. For decades fat has been mistakenly blamed for weight gain, heart issues, and other problems. But thanks to mounting scientific evidence, the low-fat diet myth of the last century is finally being debunked. Unfortunately, a lot of people, including many doctors, still stick to the outdated claims against fat. (If you’re interested in reading about the exciting developments in science involving fat, sugar, and other food topics, see the resources section at the end of this book.)

  When I started baking Paleo treats, I was amazed. They actually made me feel good. Eating a hunk of Paleo lemon cake made me feel energetic and also satisfied. Energetic—from cake! This is because the recipes—using ingredients such as almond flour, coconut oil, and eggs—are high in fat and protein, which fuel our bodies and leave us feeling good.

  Even more surprising, Paleo treats taste delicious. They are not just similar to but better than the ones I ate in the gluten days. They’re moist and fluffy, not dry. They’re flavorful. My friends who are used to regular baked goods agree that these treats taste incredible. By comparison, the conventional treats I used to eat were actually pretty tasteless, since their flavors were masked by all the sugar. Paleo treats have very little sugar, so they open up a whole world of complex and delicious flavors.

  I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to share these recipes with you. Whether you’re skeptical about baking without grains or you’ve been Paleo for years or maybe you’ve never baked a cake in your life, I encourage you to try these. You’ll see how good a cupcake can be, and how good you can feel after eating two … or three!

  Baking Tidbits and Tips

  Baking has become one of my favorite things in life, but not for the reasons you may think. Yes, it has obvious rewards! But my favorite part is actually the process.

  Getting in the kitchen and cooking up something sweet is a relaxing, almost meditative experience. It provides a calming break from my busy life. It also has become one of my favorite ways to practice self-care. It’s nice when someone else cooks for us. But there’s nothing more comforting than taking the time to make ourselves a batch of muffins, then eating them straight out of the oven.

  Above all, baking is creative. With the right ingredients, you can bake just about anything your heart desires. So feel free to use these recipes as starting points. Get messy in the kitchen. Get covered in (almond) flour. Play with flavors. Would a sprinkle of flaky sea salt taste good here? Or a handful of walnuts add a nice crunch there? Experiment.

  As you bake these recipes, or create your own, don’t be hard on yourself if you totally mess up. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve set out to make marshmallows but instead ended up crying, covered in chunks of some weird gooey substance. Okay, it was three times. But I’m learning to detach from the results of my baking; the process is what matters. So you burned your muffins. Did you have fun making them? That’s all that matters! (Plus, burned cookies can actually taste pretty good.) Let yourself mess up as much as you need to; it will only make you a better baker.

  Here are some baking tips I’ve learned over the years. I hope they help you feel more confident jumping into the recipes that await.

  Study your recipe. Read through the list of ingredients and instructions before starting. Make sure you have all the ingredients and equipment on hand. There’s nothing worse than realizing halfway through a recipe that you’re all out of baking soda!

  Choose the middle. Always bake using the middle rack of your oven.

  Preheat your oven. Every recipe tells you when to preheat your oven. Preheat it right when the recipe says to—don’t wait until later!

  Oven temperatures vary. A cake that needs to bake for thirty minutes in my oven may only need twenty-eight in yours. The best solution is to keep a close eye on your treats, so they don’t burn. I recommend peeking through your oven window about five minutes before the recipe says to take them out. (Try not to open the oven door while the treats are baking, as it can deflate them.)

  Double boiler DIY. Some recipes call for a double boiler, which is a special type of pan that cooks ingredients slowly and evenly. It’s easy to recreate a double boiler at home. Here’s how:

  1. Fill a medium saucepan with about 1½ inches of water.

  2. Put a heatproof bowl on top of the saucepan. It shouldn’t touch the water.

  3. Place the ingredients in the bowl as instructed in the recipe.

  4. Turn the stove onto medium-high heat so that the water in the saucepan boils. Cook your ingredients in the upper half as instructed.

  Parchment paper 101. Many recipes say to “line
a baking dish with parchment paper.” To do that: Tear off a large piece of parchment paper. Place your baking dish on top of the sheet. Using scissors, cut four squares off the sheet of parchment, each at the corner of the dish. Place the parchment paper inside the baking dish, so that the four flaps go up and over the sides. Trim off any extra parchment from the flaps.

  Egg-cellent baking. Always let your eggs sit out on the counter before baking, so they can reach room temperature. Adding cold eggs to your batter might cause some ingredients to solidify.

  Keep clean. If you’re messy like me, always wear an apron or some old clothes!

  Guide to Recipe Icons

  All recipes in this book are gluten-free, grain-free, dairy-free, and refined sugar-free. Additional allergy and diet markings are as follows:

  Egg-Free.

  Sugar-Free.

  Vegan. Contains no animal products.

  Nut-Free. Contains no tree nuts (except for coconut, which the FDA currently defines as a tree nut).

  CHAPTER ONE

  Be Loving

  We express love in so many different ways. A lot of the time, we put our energy into loving other people, which is awesome. But right now we’re going to focus on loving ourselves. This can be really tricky! It’s hard to appreciate all the different aspects of who we are—our essence—when society is obsessed with one thing: our appearance. Our culture puts so much stock in the way females look that it’s hard for even us to see past it.

  It’s time we ditch this insanity and love the parts of us that truly matter.